so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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