He kissed a someone with a penis
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
