she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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