she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
