It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
