I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
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