Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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