i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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