what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
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