in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
