I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I would ride that face into the sunset
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
