If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
