I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Randomize
