The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
