i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Randomize
