The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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