dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
