We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
