'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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