It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
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