HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
