I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Shame - the story of my life.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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