ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
