Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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