You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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