I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize