the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
There are leaves in my underwear?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
