Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
tequila makes me forget i have legs
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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