P.S. I can't hear my feet
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize