We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize