lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
