Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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