were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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