like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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