Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
