We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
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Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
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I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
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