She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize