Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.

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  (512): Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes. http://tfl.nu/c6y2
  Replies (9) Good night (923) Bad night (830)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.

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  (302): I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers. http://tfl.nu/ujt7
  Replies (13) Good night (641) Bad night (3318)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20

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  (608): the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20 http://tfl.nu/n9vd
  Replies (48) Good night (1152) Bad night (6628)
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  (315): View more from New York

  he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate

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  (315): he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate http://tfl.nu/wroe
  Replies (24) Good night (883) Bad night (5065)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.

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  (204): this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food. http://tfl.nu/5ycb
  Replies (9) Good night (1450) Bad night (4357)
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  (516): View more from New York

  i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".

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  (516): i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed". http://tfl.nu/0nax
  Replies (40) Good night (1106) Bad night (5291)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...

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  (828): I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos... http://tfl.nu/fyfs
  Replies (9) Good night (2968) Bad night (879)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock

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  (803): Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock http://tfl.nu/bp8m
  Replies (8) Good night (635) Bad night (2515)
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  (530): View more from California

  Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know

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  (530): Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know http://tfl.nu/b7cw
  Replies (4) Good night (505) Bad night (908)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.

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  (517): She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free. http://tfl.nu/s0d6
  Replies (1) Good night (970) Bad night (453)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future

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  (720): My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future http://tfl.nu/mos1
  Replies (4) Good night (603) Bad night (434)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY

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  (309): QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY http://tfl.nu/578t
  Replies (2) Good night (459) Bad night (203)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?

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  (618): You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming? http://tfl.nu/vj0c
  Replies (3) Good night (496) Bad night (702)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  When was the last time you wore pants?

  (214): View more from Texas

  Time is relative.

  (214): View more from Texas

  And pants are optional.

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  (817): When was the last time you wore pants? (214): Time is relative. (214): And pants are optional. http://tfl.nu/5cz1
  Replies (1) Good night (890) Bad night (209)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.

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  (425): You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does. http://tfl.nu/9qkn
  Replies (3) Good night (372) Bad night (215)

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