I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?