Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.