Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”