Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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