Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
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