someone threw a dead crab at me
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Use "feeling words"
Yay
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
