Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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