Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
