You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
