I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
accomplished twins. life is a go
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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