She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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