New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize
