wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
