based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
