Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize