You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
