Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
