He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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