Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
