Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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