I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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